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Too Afraid to Say It

by Madds Buckley

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1.
17 01:17
One little word with Two complications and Three ways to explain it You're impossibly contradicting in just about everything Four interchanging phrases Five keywords keep me chained to you And there's nothing I can do The six choices you bestow all lead to the same muddy hole so Seventh heaven can't you see This eight ball that you've given me The nine sided die is broken inside Cause all the answers just say no I'm trying to know, to understand To count ten blessings on me hand But the eleven possessions possess my mind Stronger than twelve heroes I can find and Thirteen's unlucky Fourteen was just two of the same Fifteen not much happened But sixteen I nearly went insane so Seventeen, please be good to me Please be better than all the rest And if you can't I'll just wait for eighteen
2.
Have you ever seen a woman walk with so much class? Hangin' 'round central, shaking that- hand And I know that you say you'd choose me any day But I still think that I'd look better that way So I would like to ask you a thing or two And I would like to know more about you Should I really be saying this? Or just let it go? Have you ever seen a man who pulls your heart by its strings? Dragging you closer saying "pretty little thing" And you know in your heart you shouldn't fall for his traps And yet in your mind you're just running laps Oh love, you're a strange thing, That I haven't taken time to comprehend Oh love, you're consuming, And I don't think that will ever end oh love Should I really be saying this? Or just let it go? Love's a maze my mother says A winding puzzle with no end And I am definitely lost in love Love's not something I can hold At least that's what the poets told But can I at least have a conversation with love? Can I talk to love? You confuse me in your ways and where you tell me to go You've got me convinced that something is true And I believe it, cause I don't know the difference In these little steps that I must take There is something I can make But I don't understand anything about love I can't tell what you're thinking anymore Was I ever able to control you? Or was that just an illusion? You know, you left me lagging behind And now I'm too old but still don't know how to find Anyone who can love me for now Because love's a maze my mother says A winding puzzle with no end And I am definitely lost in love, I just can't seem to find anyone Love's not something I can hold At least that's what the poets told But can I at least have a conversation with love? Can I talk to love?
3.
Run little girl you’re out of time There’s no one to whisper goodbye to today Pack up all the things that can fit in a locket And ride the next train away Get off at the last station and run to the light That the sidewalk throws upon the blinding water Let the moon blind your senses Until dawn comes, lower defenses And breathe in that black and blue sky If I were you, then I would dream Of starlight and much brighter things Than a town where no lives Where everyday your mind misgives You travel to a different place You’ll never fill that empty space Look as long as you live There was nothing there to begin You’ll never get away, there’s no takeaway Hard as you try to justify, It’ll never make sense Ignore your heart; It’s the only way to start growing Foundations of stone cold men If I were you, then I would dream Of starlight and much brighter things Than a town where no lives Where everyday your mind misgives You travel to a different place You’ll never fill that empty space Look as long as you live There was nothing there to begin March on To a battlefield you can’t win Thorny ropes tied round your shins As you kneel down and say Forgiven Is something I can’t be Let the curtain fall and see Me as I truly am If I were you, then I would dream Of starlight and much brighter things Than a town where no lives Where everyday your mind misgives You travel to a different place You’ll never fill that empty space Look as long as you live Look as long as you live Look as long as you live There was nothing there to begin
4.
Here's a little story, a little something new About a girl that you thought that you knew She's gotta whole in her heart that needs some mending Here's a little story, a little serenade About a girl who needed to be brave To look for a story with a better ending She said oh oh oh oh Oh I gotta go-oh oh Find somewhere Where the skies are bluer So oh oh oh oh Oh only if I'd know-oh ohn That I could've been There sooner Here's a little story, a little something strange About a boy who needed a change He'd been waiting his whole life, for some adventure Here's a little ditty, so come on sing along About two people who needed a song To tell them to change their lives for the better They said oh oh oh oh Oh I gotta go oh oh oh Find somewhere Where the skies are bluer So oh oh oh oh Oh only if I'd know oh ohn That I could've been There sooner Oh you can't wait your life away Waiting for the perfect day And you can't wait to be the hero When the people are knocking at your door If you need to make a change You can find it your own way Trade the past just to see what's in store So oh oh oh oh Oh I gotta go-oh oh Find somewhere Where the skies are bluer So oh oh oh oh Oh only if I'd know-oh ohn That I could've been There sooner
5.
Eggshells 03:05
Don't mind me I'm just the corner of a room Not as center picturesque as the moonlight Spotlight center stage Top of the page With your name in bold letters I bet you're feeling better than I do Oh and you're so highly correct I've been tracing all your pictures and your silhouette Is the overcast shadowing all of my ideologies of, well, self worth I could say a word regret it and pull it back, Dragging with me All the shame, all the blame, all the lost sense of reality Of what it means to converse And that means you can't go in reverse Say something smart or funny and I'm invisible, Eggshells on white walls I break because I'm not the nonesuch I crack at the thought of being a little too much A little too much If perfect practice makes a master But the masters are allowed to make mistakes It leaves a paradoxical situationary complication That negatively affects the missteps I make There's no forgiveness for my sake So speak up! Nope you missed it Find a way to resist Screaming your frustrations out Say a word regret it and pull it back, Dragging with me All the shame, all the blame, all the lost sense of reality Of what it means to converse And that means you can't go in reverse Say something smart or funny and I'm invisible, Eggshells on white walls I break because I'm not the nonesuch I crack at the thought of being a little too much (She'll never say it) A little too much (She'll never say it) Oh, but there's beauty in the framing of a picture The perfect angles sharp and clean The background work of the scene Woah, and a harmony is so much sweeter with a strong melody But I'll still Say a word regret it and pull it back, Dragging with me All the shame, all the blame, all the lost sense of reality Of what it means to converse And that means you can't go in reverse Say something smart or funny and I'm invisible, Eggshells on white walls I break because I'm not the nonesuch I crack at the thought of being a little too much A little too much A little too much A little too much
6.
Into the Mud 03:43
Why don't you dig yourself an even deeper hole Fill it up with something other than a shovel Bury the trench and border line Surrounding your troubles And when the world falls in, don't let it be subtle Why don’t you cover up the rose with more dirt Let it rot beneath a sun you will not see If your mind is your reality You’ve got a twisted fate If the ground is your insanity Then its far too late Just sink away Into the mud thats taken the place Of your clear water reflection Distort the color with your desire for perfection Why don't you throw another punch at your mirror Find poetry in the blood on your broken fist Stare at the shattered face, As you watch your fall from grace And still blame yourself for the uncontrolled space Just sink away Into the mud thats taken the place Of your clear water reflection Distort the color with your desire for- Perfections not the finish of Your lines drawn in the sand But you let those cords tighten Over heart and over hand Watch the world fill up your lungs All the sediment you dug Will be for nothing but the empty grave that you’ve begun Just sink away Into the mud thats taken the place Of your clear, sweet water reflection Distort the color with you desire for- Why don't you dig yourself an even deeper hole?
7.
Kazoo 00:31
8.
I don't know anything for certain But I hope that I won't let anything get in my way And I have been searching for that purpose That life will try to shoo away So I will take whatever life gives me Knock me down and beat me till I bleed So I'll stop being afraid Of the monsters in my closet And the beasts lurking in the dark Things I should've forgotten long ago It's not much, but it sure is a start So I'll practice everyday to keep the shadows away And out of my brain Music is the shield, And the words are the sword And although my body's young, my soul is old And all my castle's by the sea Will wash away from me But I'll rebuild the sand happily And once I've learned my lesson And built the walls of stone Well the sea will become a dragon And singe me to the bone So I'll build the walls of iron Trap him and his fire So it's me set free So I'll stop being afraid Of the monsters in my closet And the beasts lurking in the dark If I can face a dragon, Then I can fight a lion just as easily So I'll practice everyday to keep the shadows away And out of my brain So I'll start my own adventures against life and it's ways Not a princess in a tower And I'll always save the day And I won't forget my family Because they keep me strong If anything, I'll drag them along And we'll fight off all the monsters that hide beneath my bed And the beasts lurking in the dark If I can take these challenges then I can do most anything But first I'll have to start So I'll practice everyday to keep the shadows away And out of my brain So I'll practice everyday to keep the shadows away And out of my brain
9.
Dream 05:07
Wish away Dream a pretty little dream Dance your heart out To a song that was never there Pray today Reality's not what it seems Pour your heart out To that pretty little dream Roses have their thorns You by far had the most Growing inside and upside And god knows where Silver linings polished to gold Will ruin the wearer's clothes Making stains of chalky white and grey Stay away Between lines of text there's teeth They'll bite if you seek the answers to your prayer They'll scar with little care When you wake That glass slipper will fall from your feet Oh that's much too fragile To be your dream Roses have their thorns You by far had the most Growing inside and upside And god knows where Silver linings polished to gold Will ruin the wearer's clothes Making stains of chalky white and grey Watch your dream For soon it will be A memory of long ago Stay with me And keep our little dream Believe but run on, and it will grow Roses have their thorns You by far had the most Growing inside and upside And god knows where Silver linings polished to gold Will ruin the wearer's clothes Making stains of chalky white and grey
10.
If there's something that I would like to learn Why do we as people like to turn We turn in dance for the world to see We turn our backs on friends and enemies But if there was one thing that I could ask for I beg you bring the winds to me once more Oh how I miss the southern wind That pulled me to my feet again And turned me northward heading home If there's one thing that's been on my mind Why are there people who are far too kind They'll make you love yourself at the start But when they leave, the cold takes back your heart But if there was one thing I could ask for I beg you bring the winds to me once more Oh how I miss the southern wind That warmed my broken heart again And turned me northward heading home If there's one thing that I need to understand Why do things leave when when it all goes bad People, lovers, children too All the confidence I had in you This vessel can't hold the weight anymore Let me turn my back on those who hurt me Warm the hearts of those who deserve me Help me realize that people come and go with time But if there was one thing that I need It'd be the strength to believe in me So if there's was one thing I could ask for I beg you bring the winds to me once more All the love and trust I had in me Would surely be returned you see If it turns me northward heading home
11.
"I can’t help it if you can’t stop it" Well maybe if you tried To realize that you’ve been childish In every word that you make lies And if that’s the only thing you can say I don’t need to see you anyway So close my door, step away There’s no way I’ll hear you today So na nanana nana I’m playing your game of not listening Na nanana nana Your opinions are something I’m not missing Na na nananana You can throw all the cards You can roll all the dice Doesn’t mean that you’ll ever suffice To persuade me that I am someone Who deserves to be put down or ignored And If that’s the only thing you can say I don’t need to see you anyway So slam my door, walk away But there’s no way I’ll hear you today So na nanana nana I’m playing your game of not listening Na nanana nana Your opinions are something I’m not missing Na nananana na I am no better, but sure as hell no less And I’m sorry my standing ups causing you stress But you refuse to hear me out And the only thing you can say back is to shout If that’s the only thing you can do Politely speaking, who are you To dictate who I am Well maybe that self righteous mind should scram So na nanana nana I’m playing your game of not listening Na nanana nana Your opinions are something I’m not missing Na nananana na
12.
Come try our new product It’s the best you’ve ever seen A miraculous invention Who can guess what it’ll be At our new line ups unveiling, We ask you be polite For our product is a little bit shy For we have built you a friend (A friend!) A most comforting friend (Oh that's great!) For those nights when you are feeling all alone (I'm so lonely these days) He’ll hug you when you cry (Huzzah!) And he’ll never say goodbye And if he does, (wait what?) Well that’s what the off buttons for! Now customers, don’t go away (why?) For we’ll make it worth your while today To forget your lonely, empty lives And make a purchase of this size For 25 thousand he’ll say your name In every personal message you make (seems pricy) For 20 hundred he’ll wave hello (what a deal!) And for 200 our invisible model will go! We have built you a friend (A friend!) A most dazzling friend (Oh that's great!) In our upgrade he can juggle and sing songs (Oh that's amazing!) He’ll tell you he loves you Even if you know it’s not true A hollow replica of your boyfriend who is gone He can sing! He can dance! (tap, ballet, and jazz!) Higher that anyone he can... jump, I don't know is that marketable? He’s like a famous celebrity Almost real That is until you have to fill him up at a gas pump (That's a problem we're currently working out, it's weird, we know) We have built you a friend (A friend!) A most comforting friend (Oh that's great!) For those nights when you are feeling all alone If he starts to ask questions Like “why do i exist?” "Who created me?" "What even is my purpose if not to fill a lonely consumerists soul and make them think that even for a second someone who likes them could be bought with money?” (that's rough buddy) Well that’s what the off buttons for. Thank you for your purchase
13.
Let's Talk 03:16
Come Let’s go for a walk We can travel anywhere you like Let’s just talk It’s been a while Don’t care who’s at fault You can say whatever you like Let’s just talk Cuz I find it’s not very polite To leave a good thing behind So let’s talk about Where you’ve been What made you laugh What made you grin All the stupid little things that don’t matter Let’s talk about that brand new show What trivia we think we know And how she thinks she’ll win the man with flattery Let’s talk Look things are awkward, that I know That’s kinda why we let it go But since I’m trying to be nice You know a "hello!" every once in awhile would suffice... Sorry! on other terms, when are you free? It seems like forever since we’ve been Together critiquing movies while in theatre So let’s talk about Where you’ve been What made you laugh What made you grin All the stupid little things that don’t matter Let’s talk about that brand new show What trivia we think we know And how she thinks she’ll win the man with flattery Let’s talk Oh if I’m too afraid to say It makes total sense to sing it Can we talk, can we talk? Oh if I’m too afraid to say It makes total sense to sing it Can we talk, can we talk? Oh if I’m too afraid to say (Ohh, she'll hide behind the words It makes total sense to sing it Ohh, she'll hide behind the song) Can we talk, can we talk? (She'll never say it, oh no she'll never say it) So let’s talk about Where you’ve been What made you laugh What made you grin All the stupid little things that don’t matter Let’s talk about that brand new show What trivia we think we know And how she thinks she’ll win the man with flattery

credits

released April 1, 2017

Mastered by Tim Flynn at AudioWall Studios
Album cover by LN Kingsbury

Special thanks to Lisa Griffith and Mr. Gemkow for all the expertise : )

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Madds Buckley Elmhurst, Illinois

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